'Frige Manners

I'm actually surprised that I remembered my Blogger username and password, considering I haven't been around here in almost a month. It's been a busy month, though, full of personal and professional ups and downs, lefts and rights, and so on and so forth. I apologize to my readership (all three of you) and the occasional visitor like RC (someone I don't think I know).

Refrigerators are tricky. Living in what is essentially a small hotel (nine bedrooms, seven or eight bathrooms, two refrigerators), it can get crazy and wacky. There's about sixteen people here with simply one freezer and one point five friges. I have half a shelf to store all of my items -- 1% milk, orange juice, sour cream, turkey (or ham or roast beef, but not all three at once), a single tomato, two peppers, a small bottle of pomegranate juice, two beers at a time, a carton of eggs, a bag a spinach, carrots, veggie dip, veggie cream cheese, salad dressing, butter/margerine, spaghetti sauce, and alfredo sauce. Then, there's a tiny space in the freezer for me to put my two hamberger patties, two to three breasts of chicken and perhaps a small container of broccoli spears.

So, to put it into some sort of concise and regimented rulebook, I would use the following entry for "refrigerator etiqutte"

Purchase only food you will eat. Store it in proper containers, preferably stackable tupperware. Do not touch my food, move my food or sample my food. It is mine. It is in its place and yours is not there. Due dates are listed for a reason. Abide by them. Do not smell the milk or ask me to smell the milk three days after its due date. If your lettuce is slimy, throw it out. If the door doesn't shut, you've purchased too much food and must eat some promptly. Have some consideration. Live long and slobber, but not in the refrigerator.