What time is it?

But seriously, what IS the deal with time zones? Having spent most of my life on Eastern Standard time, I never realized what a change it would be to move into a Central Time Zone location. What is it about these people? Do they just want to go to bed earlier, so they petitioned the television industry and clock makers of the world to give them everything an hour earlier than everyone else gets it? (Mind you, it's essentially the same moment in the grand scheme of life, but an hour earlier on the clock.) Why is that? But then, out on the Pacific coast, they have to wait long dreadful hours in the grand scheme of life to get what they want to watch on the tube. It doesn't make sense to me. And who decides these things? I just read that from 3 Feb 1942 to 30 Sep 1945 most of United States had daylight savings time all year, it was called "War Time." What?! War Time? Who came up with that one? And what did people think about it? And what time did their favorite radio programs come on? Regular time? War time? Daylight savings time? Mountain time? What about the Amish? What kind of time do they have? And are their seconds always as long as the seconds people in Houston have? And what's a New York minute?

I also just figured out how old I am as I wrote that exact word, not taking into account time zones and daylight savings time on this interesting website: I am 8,340 days, 21 hours, 54 minutes and 56 seconds old. Or, 22 years, 10 months, 1 day, 21 hours, 54 minutes, 56 seconds. That figure can be converted into the following units: 720,654,896 seconds; 12,010,914 minutes (rounded down); 200,181 hours (rounded down); 1,191 weeks (rounded down). More importantly, who cares?

Oh well. Next time, instructions on capturing an ocean and putting it inside a seashell.