Depressed? I'd rather lather.

I don't know what it was. I'm still at a loss, I guess, but either way, it doesn't matter much. Depression, that is. Or, more specifically, the cause of my depression. No, not like clinically. But... what's the opposite of clinical? Home-ical? Nothing went right yesterday. It was blah. I sat at the machinery at work, unhappy. Not even my iPod could cheer me up. I mean, I've listened to a lot of the music on there, no not all of it (gimme a break, you try listening to 11,451 songs--that's right.), but I didn't want it anymore. I'd had it with musicals, and my non-musicals weren't hitting the spot.

So, once home, I figured I should go the gym. I wasn't in the mood at all, but I went. Whatever. I eliptical-ized for, oh, say eight minutes, stopped, put on my long pants and coat and drove back home. I wasn't having it. At all. Don't know why, just bummed.

So I had a beer. The day before I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from work (also depressed...) and bought beer, chips, candy... anything to make me feel better. I'm like a pregnant woman when it comes to food. Give it to me or you're gonna die. I bought Carlsberg. I thought I'd had it before and enjoyed it. WRONG. It sucked. I dunno, smells bad and tastes like a mediocre Bud. I know! How terrible.

Then I went to the mall. I decided to see a movie and had an extra hour to kill. I bought the soundtrack for DREAMGIRLS (details to follow), avoided the cell-phone-kiosk-a@#hole, yada yada yada... it was time for the movie, BABEL (details to follow).

Anyhow, what got me all day, all that depressing day, was how much we deny ourselves. I mean, I didn't deny myself anything yesterday. I wanted it and I took it -- whatever it was. Because I was in a crappy mood. But on regular days, why do I force myself to go to the gym, work a job where I have to get up at the God-forsaken hour of 8:45am? WHY DO I SCRIMP AND SAVE THE SOAP IN THE SHOWER? You know, this new liquid soap everyone's been using with those loofah things? I don't use those, but I use the soap, sparingly of course. But yesterday, standing there with my washcloth, hot water scalding my shoulders, I decided, actually said it outloud, "I want more soap." So I poured on some extra soap. And I lathered all up. Mmm. I did the same thing today. YES! Now I know what that girl in the Herbal Essence commercial is so excited about. LATHER!