$ob $tory

What's the deal with money? Everything is so expensive nowadays.

I begrudgingly went to my audition this morning for a theatre I've been told never to work for, and they didn't even give me a callback. BAM! Ridiculous. So, I then meandered through the city trying to decide what to do next. I ended up spending about $80 in the next few hours, on simple necessities.

Stamps
Oh brother. Remember when first class stamps used to be like $23 cents? Sheesh. I bought two books of postcard stamps today because I just ordered some postcards with my picture on them to send out to casting people to remind them who I am, right? Well, it now costs $0.24 to send a postcard. That's almost a quarter! Are you kidding me? It's insanity. And don't try to send out a headshot to anyone or it'll cost you upwards of sixty cents -- $0.63 to be exact. And for cripes sake, I send out a bunch of them every week. No wonder I don't have any money. And, I had to stand in line for about twenty minutes to spend $22 on postage.

Vitamins
I went to replenish my supply of multivitamins, supplements and the like at GNC, using my member card. Now, thank goodness I have that, because I saved just under ten dollars today because of it. However, is it really fair to charge me thirty bucks for 180 vitamins? Of which, of course, I have to take two a day. So that's 30 bucks to get me through 90 days... which turns out to be $0.33 repeating each day for multivitamins. Oh brother.

Groceries
Come off it! There is no way I should have to spend over thirty dollars on orange juice, tomatoes, bread, mac&cheese, soup, apples, oranges, bread, cheese and turkey. For crying out loud! I just need to survive here. But, $35 later, the kind man who didn't speak my language (which is FINE! ... for today at least) just didn't have enough smile to make it worth it.

Finale Ultimo
What makes the whole tragedy sad, though, is the simple notion that I CAN'T AFFORD ALL OF THIS. I'm an actor. Which means my days are full of auditions. Which means my nights are full of rehearsals. Which means there is no time for a real job. Which means I can't make any money. Which means the jobs I do have a few and far between. Which means I now am beginning to realize why they came up with the whole starving artist mentality. I guess I'll just have to stop buying things, stop auditioning, get a job in a cubicle somewhere, begin hating my life and then be able to buy things again which won't make me happy anyway because I'm stuck in corporate America doing something I don't want to be doing next to fifty other people who feel the same way and are just spending their time updating their myspace profile on the boss's dime....

Love and peace. Beedow.

Office Post 2

B-O-R-I-N-G-!

I have literally exhausted every idea I have on internet surfing today. I read an entire magazine (Nov '06 edition that I finally had an opportunity to read), but can't fathom reading another issue. I've responded to all my outdated emails, and even sent myself five emails. I've watched narcoleptic dogs on youtube and made mental notes of my friends' birthdays on myspace.

I don't know what to do anymore. No one calls here! Ahhhhhhhh!

Live, from the Office

Today's a biggie, folks. It's my first post from work. That's right, I've entered the high-paced, fast-moving life of the standard American workforce. And, because of that, I have LOTS of free time to write, read, sing, dance, and be generally useless during the day while making my meanial wage.

I'm excited to bring you all into my daily life, and offer wisdom from the computer here at work while I should be doing other things. Or, should I? What else should I be really doing? Should I try to read all of the papers posted around the office? Should I close my eyes and try to complete my tasks as if I were a sight-impaired individual?

No, of course not. I shouldn't be doing anything else. And, I'm happy to have figured it out. I don't owe anyone anything more than I'm giving. I just hope this computer isn't bugged and they're not reading everything I'm writing.

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

This week has been exhausting. I've worked, like a regular human being, five whole days in a row. I went to a sporting event last night and afterward for a drink. Today, I slept in, went eliptical-ing, watched the end of LOVE ACTUALLY and did some web design research. Now, I plan to watch HANNAH AND HER SISTERS because I didn't do it last week when I should have -- it's my favorite Thanksgiving movie. It always makes me feel cozy and warm, even though I'm not sure I'd want my life to be like the ones in the film, it just exudes the sort of aura that I feel is right for that holiday. Perhaps moreso than Christmas, Thanksgiving is the coziest holiday in my book.

You may ask, "Beedow, what book is that?" Well, I don't understand the question and I won't respond.

passing time @ work

I'm working now on days when I am not performing at night, and it's actually okay because the job is mindless and allows me to listen to my iPod. There are some things to discuss here.

One: THANK GOD for my iPod. I can't imagine living in a society sans personal music devices again. On an unrelated note, I remember when I first broke down a got a cell. Sheesh! Now with my laptop, cell and iPod, what else do I need? (bluetooth devices, a blueray DVD player, a DVD recorder, a TiVo for goodness sake... I guess I've got a Christmas list in the works)

Two: I can't stand my iPod. Wait. Stop. Did I just contradict myself? Well, sorta. See, all day long I do mindless, finger strengthening jobs and I listen to my headphones. Well, luckily I work less than an eight hour day, but still, six hours with those little earbuds in my ears makes me sore! My left ear lobe is especially prone to pain after about two- or two-and-a-half hours. Sometimes I am moved to a job that's quite loud, so I wear ear protection, right? Well, my earbuds fit inside the protection, but that causes a whole other set of pain issues--different parts of the ear, different pressure, etc.

Three: Books on Tape. I'm using the mornings to listen to Myla Goldberg's BEE SEASON (I blogged about the movie here) on CD. It's my first audiobook, and I think I might come around to them. They're quick and easy to get through, evidently, as I can "read" at work. But, I can't imagine listening to them at home while I'm sitting around the living room. I would rather pull out an actual old-fashioned, bounded grouping of pages, that, in previous centuries was commonly known as a BOOK. Also, Goldberg does the reading herself, and I've found her voice to be difficult and challenging to listen to continuously. Each morning as I turn her on, it's fine. But thank goodness I stop after two-and-a-half hours and switch to music.

Four: Music. It's a good opportunity for me to finally listen to many of those showtunes I've purchased or downloaded (always legally, always) and never actually heard. There are some gems out there that I've found recently, including APPLAUSE and, I know, but I'm just now learning it, DREAMGIRLS.

I was definitely going to blog about another issue entirely, but now I'll just be able to save it for tomorrow. Then, coming soon: solitude at the movies, self-lauding dreaming.