Oh Brother
So, I'm a lazy ass. I often wonder if all people are like this. Or, would they be if they could be? I mean, I am basically just scraping by. I don't work enough hours to pay the bills, but I always seem constantly busy. I think it's because I sleep most of the time. I'm lazy. And I make up excuses.
Last night was Halloween (or, if you'd prefer Hallowe'en) and what did this guy do? Well, I sold a ticket to a Hollywood celeb (think, The Illusionist, Death to Smoochy) and then took the train home, ran on an elliptical for thirty minutes before chickening out and not doing the rest of my workout. I came home and reheated some chili I made Monday night, tried to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm season one, disc one, but the Netflix disc was cracked. So I went to bed. And slept about ten hours.
Then, today, I should have gone to an audition. But I talked myself out of it because, well, I'm really not right for the role anyway. So I made a sandwich and started to catch up on The Office. It was mid-afternoon by the time I took a shower.
Goodness. This is ridiculous. Tomorrow's going to be similar. I'm going to talk myself out of an audition that I'm not right for, go in for an audition later, only because I have an appointment, and well, probably sit around some more.
I'm just getting by. I'm making up excuses so I don't have to go and see people - why? Why don't I actually just go and see them? I don't have anything better to do with my time. I should see my friends.
I feel like I need some sort of thing, some motivation, to keep going. What is making me tick? What's exciting in life? What is going to make me really excited about getting up and doing something? More importantly, what can I actually DO? If I don't get scheduled at work, then I have all this time off and nothing to do...
I have so much time, I should at least blog every day and I don't even do that. Nor do I have a witty closing to this post.
1 comment:
I can sympathize with your plight of laziness. Do you have access to a computer outside of work?
Man, when I get in front of the computer, I don't sleep like I should or do the housework or, sometimes even keep up with my various blogs.
But sometimes I DO work on those damn blogs and they take freaking forever, because I'm obsessive and I write very slowly.
So, if it won't kill you, read my blogs and leave comments!
Although, a thought occurred to me, if I'm understanding this post correctly.
You have a job, but your schedule is irregular, thus, sometimes you find yourself with time on your hands because you're not scheduled to work on a particular day. Right?
I think it's interesting, from an actor's perpsective, to be an actor but not actively working on a show or rehearsing.
That limbo period in-between.
I'm sure that if you were doing a show, you'd wish for time off to do other stuff, the time that you have now but for some reason are not motivated to do anything, is that correct?
I'm assuming this is symptomatic to actors early in their careers, where they're still defining themselves in their roles, and those roles are still not taken for granted in terms of always having work.
So, the "in-between roles limbo" must be an odd psychological period, unless you are committed to doing something else along with acting. Then, that time is focused on doing that other thing.
Or if you are driven to perform all the time, then ANY audition is an opportunity to act/work, so you force yourself to keep hitting those cattle calls.
But if you are not that driven, the in-between times must be strange.
If I sound like I'm being sarcastic or making a specific wise-ass point, I'm not.
Perhaps I'm not articulating it right.
I guess part of me is thinking of Christopher Walken's character in the one-hour adaptation of a Kurt Vonnegut (?) story, "Who Am I This Time?"
Directed by Jonathan Demme and also starring Susan Sarandon, Walken plays this wunderkind actor in this local community.
As an individual, he seems undefined. He only comes to life in his roles in the local community theater productions. In this case, it's Stanley Kowalski to Sarandon's Stella.
But his signature line is, "Who am I this time?"
Is there some aspect of that between roles sometime, or is that just a romantic exaggeration? If all of this sounds ridiculous, confusing or nonsensical, then, uh...
Read my blogs and leave comments and/or questions!
Later!
A fan
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