Autumn of Awareness, and Action

I've failed you as a friend and a confidant, but, if you'll have me, I'd gladly take you back. My "summer in the hills" has come to a close, my retreat to the homeland is nearing its end, and the return to life in the big city all but a reality at this point. I am making it an autumn of awareness, these next few months: aware of my struggling pocketbook, distant friend contact, lack of continuing education, failure to reach my new year's resolution... all of these things make it seem like I need to become aware, and then act.

So, I begin today, this ninth afternoon of the ninth month of the year. I vow to blog more faithfully. And (hopefully) interestingly.

I look forward to coming into your lives more often, beginning ... soon.

Failure = Success

It was inevitable, I guess. There's only so much a dog can take, you know? And I guess this was it. A few days shy of three months, and I lost it. My brain stumbled, and actually began to think of other things. But, there's no excuse, I failed again.

Maybe it's for the better. I decided to observe some Lenten obligations beginning yesterday, and I fasted. Let me tell you, I was STARVING. But it felt good knowing that I didn't eat an entire bag of chips before I went to bed like usual. And, I am on day five of my before-bed-better-belly-brigade. So, perhaps I was spending my time thinking about other things and just figured that there was no need to remember (j)OE'S.

Either way, I'm not going to get myself down. I'm excited about my new found freedom, the endless possibilites that await me now that I'm no longer tied to a daily writing routine here at (j)OE'S.

Now, I know some of you will be angry, and think I've failed. But what is failure? To me, it's not completing a project you set out to do ... well, OK, then I guess I have failed. But, perhaps we should measure the success I've encrued while failing. I've gotten back into blogging, and have had something to keep me busy daily. Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep and realized I hadn't posted, I make the conscious decision to let it go. It's fine. Let it go.

From now on, I'll try to post regularly, but am not going to stress about it. Take this as an opportunity for you too to let some stress go, release yourself from the shackles of yesterday and go fly a kite.

(Name the two musicals for extra points ...)

I Resolve!

Success. NYE07 was a blast -- despite the fact mi amiga L'il B was, for about an hour, assumed dead. Also, these are images from the Queen City's ball/car drop.

There's nothing quite like a new start, a new beginning, a brand new day. The movies tout them, the musicals sing about them, and in real-life, we humans have a chance every 365 days to give ourselves that fake opportunity for the promise of what will inevitably become failure. Sure, we can resolve all we want about gymming, salading, and optimistiking, but how often can we actually accomplish said tasks? I admire the people who do, or who believe they do, or who at least spend the first day of a new year thinking they're going to. Even more, I admire the people who actually announce to their friends the things they're going to do to improve their lives in the next twelve months. They're letting everyone see their cards, and if they go all in with 9s and 3s, everyone will know and be able to scoff.

Well, I won't do all of that. I already look good, feel great, eat healthy, workout often, think positively, have lots of friends, practice many talents, et al ad nauseam. So I'll just give you one thing you can harp on me about -- and I hope you will: playing the guitar. I've always wanted to learn. And think it would be fun. So, I resolve in 2007 to learn to play the guitar.

And, for all you out there who won't let me get away without the following, here's a list of things that maybe I'll try to do if I remember or think about them or get bored or whatever:

+ Learn to play the piano better
+ Write a children's book
+ Write a musical libretto
+ Finish my first DVD and at least make a major dent in the second
+ Get on Broadway, or at least make a living without a survival job
+ Get a church choir job
+ Read more and varied books
+ Instead of feeling depressed, get out and do something
+ Make the most of living in a major metropolitan area
+ Win the lottery
+ Ship it

Third Time's the Charm (1/365.c)

It was one week ago when I last posted here. An entire week of failure at the now infamous PROJECT 365. But, I think I've learned a lot in this week. Perhaps most importantly, who cares if I fail? There's been so little discussion of it, no comments really, and so, who cares? Why am I even attempting to write a post each day? For what purpose am I striving?

I think what it comes down to is self. We challenge ourselves to be better people, better sons or daughters, mothers or fathers, teachers or students, artists or atheletes. It's inevitable that we want to become good at something. Perhaps some of us are good at something already: mathematics, science, finance, trading stocks, taking our vitamins each day without forgetting... but there are others of us who are in need of something to challenge us further.

I initiated PROJECT 365 as a way of challenging myself to a major goal. It's an enormous enterprise, this writing every single day for an entire year thing. But as I considered backing out again this week, I realized it would just be another notch on the failure stick I have under my bed. Each time I don't complete a task, I put another hash mark on the ol' hickory. I didn't want to do it again, so, I left the failure stick in its place, opened my PowerBook and logged on to the beta version of Blogger.

Don't be a stranger. Leave your comments and criticisms, as they might stir in me some fabulous ideas. I look forward to writing for you every day.

Failure

What a terrible word. Perhaps if I am ever interviewed by the ever-prepared Jim Lipton, I could tell him that is my least favorite word in the English language. Mr Lipton, I don't think, has ever failed anything. Let's look at some definitions, courtesy the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary:

FAIL (v)
to not succeed in what you are trying to achieve or are expected to do;
to not do something which you should do;
to become weaker or stop working completely

FAILED (adj)
having not succeeded

FAILING (adj)
becoming weaker or less successful

FAILURE (n)
when something or someone has not succeeded;
when you do not do something that you must do or are expected to do;
when something does not work, or stops working as well as it should

Now, for an example which befits all the above definitions: Project 365 failed when Beedow did not create a post yesterday.

We all knew it would happen, it was just a matter of time. There had been eleven posts, and on the day of post twelve, this blogger simply forgot. He had remembered while watching television, thinking, "gosh, I hope I don't forget to blog." Still, he did. He failed. He has failed before, some of them more grandiose, some less public, all failures however. He hopes to not fail again.

The inevitable question, though, becomes: What becomes of Project 365? Are we to assume that now the project will last an extra day, becoming P366? Does this post, which should have been number thirteen, become reduced to numero doce? I think we shouldn't dwell to much on the issue lest it become synonymous with other too-heavily-dwelled bits of news such as Watergate, the Crusades, the Loch Ness Monster or the Britney-Kevin Story. Project 365 was meant to bring joy, not create scandal. So stop bugging me. Stop calling your Mother. She doesn't care that I forgot to write on here last night.