I believe I was the first to coin the phrase...

You Better Believe It!

So, here I am (Yes, JJ), back. For good? Well, maybe for bad. But, back at least for the time being temporarily. It's tough writing a column all the time. I mean, think about it. Not only do I have to live my life, but write to my Dear Diary each evening and then fill all y'all in on it? No wonder I'm writing this post at quarter past three in the morning in the middle of my busy work week.

That's right folks - just because you're on a weekend doesn't mean we all are. I get Mondays and Tuesdays off - but not this Monday because of the holiday, I have to get up and put on a damn show Monday night. So, while most of the world is sitting on their easy chairs on Saturdays and Sundays, I'm waking up at the crack of eleven to warm up la voce so I can sing a song for the nineteen of you who choose to come to any of our two shows either day. Of course there's also a Friday evening, and this week a Monday evening, so whatever, life gets busy.

But, I'm less busy than I would be if I weren't on this job. Were I back in the Big Apple, I'd probably be pulling my hair out from balancing two or three jobs, and covering upwards of 50 hours a week. Down here on the beach, I'm working an easy 20 hours a week, and feeling grand.

Love to my homies.

There's a Storm Comin'

Today, I simply applaud the prose of my buddy JJ over at As Little As Possible from December 12. Yours truly was also raised Catholic, and having gone through a few angry years is coming back again... but it is sh*t like this, this intolerance, that makes me (and so many others) so angry. I hope JJ is not upset by my reposting here... have an equal opportunity day everyone.

Same-sex relationships — like nuclear arms proliferation and environmental pollution — constitute "an objective obstacle on the road to peace," wrote Pope Benedict XVI in a statement released by the Vatican yesterday.

This from the man who wears Gucci sunglasses and red Prada loafers. Did I mention he's also calling for an "equitable distribution of wealth" throughout the world?

Your Holiness:

Surely you've already sold your couture wardrobe and given the proceeds to the poor, so let's not waste time on that. As someone who was raised Catholic, I must politely register my displeasure over the first part of your statement. You are in a remarkable position; a great number of people listen closely to and follow what you say. You advocate peace, but you do so at the expense of a vast sector of society that includes not only the GLBT community but also the straight people who stand with it. You, as the leader of a religion that calls for loving one's neighbor as one's self, have the power to very bravely say, "Love manifests itself in many forms, and its power or worth does not diminish as it shape-shifts. We are finished with senseless discrimination and effrontery. It is beneath us. We welcome all people who choose to believe that life is better lived with and for others rather than above and apart. A love for God and the espousal of the altruistic tenets of Jesus Christ are all we ask for — we do not care about your race, sexual orientation or any other personal aspect over which you have no control. We only care about the part you can control: the manner in which you conduct your life. Conduct it peacefully, with an open heart."

Instead of leading us into the future, Your Holiness, you have chosen to remain rigidly anchored to dusty, antiquated prejudice. You have chosen to inculcate intolerance. You are tilling the soil of society so it remains fertile for the seeds of hate. I look forward to the day when you realize your mistake — your sin — and I pray that time comes soon, on this Earth, rather than in the afterlife, when your god will no doubt purse his lips, shake his head and break the news that you were very, very wrong.

With love and in hope,
J.J.

Boxing Day

One month ago, when I wrote my last post, I never imagined it would have taken me so long to have something to say again. Well, perhaps I did have things to say, I just didn't have the time (or the internet connection) to say them. And now, perhaps I don't have anything relevant to say either, but here goes nothin'.

1. Spending the winter in Florida is like swimming in the desert: it doesn't make sense. Sure, it's lovely weather... I mean, come on, I spent Christmas Day in shorts and a tshirt, and I didn't have to shovel any gd snow, but, it's just wacko.

2. Reality TV now offers programming showcasing real people with drug addictions, and we watch them shoot up, dance around high and then come down. Wow, gimme more o' that!

3. The special features on the BORAT dvd are brilliant. Just watch him go to the supermarket. You'll never frown again.

4. Candy cane martinis are too milky to drink a lot of. I prefer a chianti [insert Hannibal Lector slurp here].

5. JUNO is a really wonderful movie - lots of fun, very sweet and lovely.

6. SWEENEY TODD should not be remade without singers.